When the “Right” Thing Doesn’t Feel Right

There are some big changes coming to Wildly Wondrous Homeschool this month. All the things I've been dreaming about for years are finally coming together, and I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. But change can be scary, even the good kind. So before we go charging into what's next, I want to go back to my truth: who I am, and why I feel so called to do this.

Growing up, there was a "right" way to be. At least, I always felt like there was.

You were smart. You made good grades. You went to college, got married, had kids, and lived a "good" life. That was the script, and you didn't really question it.

I was told I could be a nurse or a teacher. My brothers could be a doctor or a lawyer. Those genuinely felt like the only "good" jobs available. (Funny enough, I became a teacher, one brother became a lawyer, and the other became an HR manager in corporate America, which wasn't exactly on the list but was definitely allowed.) Apparently everyone else in the world was starving. Who knew…

As a gifted and talented kid in the '90s, I felt the pressure of living up to society’s expectations every single day. In high school, I desperately wanted to take art classes. I've always been creative at heart, but my parents told me that a serious student couldn't be focusing on those kinds of activities. Band and swim team were somehow acceptable. Those were for the "normal" kids, not the artsy-fartsy weirdos.

Instead, I was put in the IB program. I was told it would be amazing for my future, that I'd come out with college credits and knowledge and everything I'd need for a good life.

You know what I actually came out with? Six college credits and a lifetime of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and oh so much anxiety. Hooray, totally worth it.

So I did something crazy. I joined the Navy right out of high school.

My parents' flabbers were absolutely gasted. But I was 18, and there wasn't much they could do about it. And honestly? It was a good choice for me. I got real money for college. I saw some incredible places. I met the friends I've kept close my whole life. My bunkmate literally lives next door to me now. And I gained life experience I never would have gotten any other way.

But when I got out, it was "back to real life." I got married, had a baby, and went to college. Right back on the script.

Then my oldest started school, and I felt that pull again. That quiet, persistent feeling that something wasn't right. She spent a year in public kindergarten, and so much of her day was spent away from us. On top of that, I couldn't shake the leftover anxiety from my own school years. I didn't want my kids carrying the same pressure I carried.

Around the same time, the "normal, happy life" I'd been told to build was falling apart. I went through a divorce. My house went into foreclosure. The script I'd followed so carefully wasn't delivering what it promised. So I started re-examining everything. I read Alfie Kohn's What It Means to Be Well Educated. I started meditating and journaling and asking hard questions about what I actually wanted for my life and my kids.

And after that first year of kindergarten, I knew one big piece of the answer: we were going to homeschool.

I won't pretend this road has been smooth. We've faced our fair share of opposition. (Did I mention that BOTH of my parents are teachers, and loudly against homeschooling? Yeah.) But here's what I know now, ten years and five kids in. As my oldest finishes her homeschool journey, I can look back and see so clearly what a good decision it was for our family. I wouldn't trade the time we've spent together, the memories we've made, or the things we've learned side by side for anything in the world.

Maybe you're questioning the script right now too. Maybe you pulled your kids out of school and the people around you don't get it. Maybe you're wondering if you're doing enough, or doing it "right." I see you. I've been there, and some days I'm still there. But there isn't one right way to be, and there isn't one right way to raise and educate your kids. That's exactly what Wildly Wondrous Homeschool is about: putting family back in homeschool, and making room for the wonder, the mess, and the perfectly imperfect days in between.

It can be scary. But someday you'll look back and see how beautiful it was.

If this story resonated with you, I'd love for you to come hang out with me on the brand-new Wildly Wondrous Podcast! You can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts, with a new episode every Monday.

Next Monday, I'm sharing the greatest piece of homeschool advice I've ever gotten. It completely changed how I approach our homeschool days, and I think it might do the same for you. (Hint: there's no such thing as an educational emergency.)

Hit follow so you don't miss it. I'll see you there!